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Staying Married and Loving It, by Patricia Allen
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Marriage is not an end--it's a beginning. Yet, despite commitment, care, and communication, a marriage will sometimes falter. When it does, the good news is that it can be made wonderful again. Following her landmark Getting to "I Do", Patricia Allen, the "Love Doctor" to over five thousand happily married couples, shares her proven methods for making a marriage come alive with love, passion, intimacy, and openness.
Dr. Allen's methods are so simple and basic as to be revolutionary. In each of us there is masculine energy, which leads, provides, and cherishes; and feminine energy, which follows, respects, and responds, sexually and lovingly. In a modern marriage, where freedom of choice can be perplexing, these energies must blend and flow together. They must complement each other; they must not compete. Once we acknowledge our individual energies and learn to communicate appropriately the ground is set for a truly satisfying marriage--physically, mentally, and emotionally.
- Sales Rank: #878457 in Books
- Published on: 1998-06
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.25" h x 5.50" w x 1.00" l,
- Binding: Paperback
- 265 pages
Review
The key to long-lasting relationships is an understanding of sexual roles and marital problems. This book defines common male personalities and interaction traits, and teaches women how to interact positively despite common barriers to communication and action. An involving, realistic psychological approach. -- Midwest Book Review
About the Author
Dr. Patricia Allen, who co-authored Getting to "I Do", is a psychotherapist with an extensive marriage and family practice in Los Angeles, where her Monday-night workshops at the Century City Playhouse have been attended by thousands. She lives with her husband in Newport Beach and has four grandchildren.
Sandra Harmon, who co-authored Getting to "I Do", is an Emmy Award-winning writer who collaborated with Priscilla Presley on the best-seller Elvis and Me. She is single and lives in New York City.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
In the old days, men were men and women were women, but this is no longer true. Today we have multiple choices, and we need new concepts if we are to mate and marry and stay married. With poor role modeling by divorced parents, and conflicting media images of maleness and femaleness, men and women are creating a mixture of old traditions and new-age values to the confusion of everyone. Western culture has traditionally cast men as the protectors, leaders, and predominant doers. Men have traditionally proposed to women, have conferred status upon women, and have been the security providers. Women, on the other hand, have been the domesticators, the followers, the recipients-they have made themselves available to the life plans of men and have been responsive to male needs. Maleness, in this scheme, is the pragmatic, functional way in which we handle work and initiate action. It is verbal, centered in the left lobe of the brain. Femaleness is the passive, the receptive, the emotional centered in the right lobe of the brain; it can be represented as nonverbal energy. Its function in traditional terms is to serve as an outlet for emotion and a moral brake; it can be seen as the stable center that allows a relationship to develop and be maintained.
Although both male and female elements are vital to the makeup of both men and women, for a relationship to be healthy and successful, they must be reconciled and be complementary. In other words, there can only be one male and one female in every relationship.
Most helpful customer reviews
25 of 27 people found the following review helpful.
Still married and loving it!
By A Customer
My husband and I were on the verge of divorce a year ago, and now we can't get enough of each other.. all because of this book! The title is misleading because it's not a book for the wife.. the husband needs to read it as well for this to work. I recommend it to everyone struggling with marital roles and the confusion and frustration that comes with it. It's smart and realistic and it works! Skip the sexist comments - they aren't important to the theories - and learn from the rest.
24 of 28 people found the following review helpful.
A fun read -- and shocking advice that actually works!
By A Customer
I have read many books on communication, and many books on how to be even happier in interpersonal relationships, and I can honestly say that Staying Married... is the best, and most helpful, one I have ever read. Don't expect sweet-sounding advice that doesn't really work -- this book gives you the real deal. The section entitled "How To Get What You Want From Your Man Without Asking" is amazing. After reading it, I applied the principles... and they worked!
12 of 13 people found the following review helpful.
Great Book---Really!!!
By John Boland
Whoever is reading these reviews will see some negative reviews. DO NOT BELIEVE THEM! This book has some VERY good "insights" into how male/female relations work. Thus you will learn "how to adjust" any relationship so that there will be greater harmony and compatibility in your relationship and/or marriage. Please read it with an open mind and with the idea that roles can be changed and "alternated"---the male/female "roles" are not "made in cement"----they can be changed, with mutual consent, depending on day to day circumstances. Please read with an open mind. You will help yourself and your marriage if you do. Email boland7214@aol.co
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